40K: The Endless War


Jazz Coggutz had got to the site of the convoy wreckage as quickly as he could. Damn Skinface had refused to loan him his battle wagon after the last incident, so he had to go on foot. He smiled as he saw the remains of all the vehicles and cargo he could salvage. This would be a good haul for parts for his project. The fly boyz had done a good job of blasting the humies to bits.

Then what little existed of his heart sunk. He saw tin can humies nearby, probably after his scrap. Good he had brought the red-cap boyz with him. He kicked a grot nearby.


“Goes and start loading up da bitz, Murk and ‘is boyz will keep the tinny’s occupied” ordered Coggutz. A large ork next to him, who must be Murk smiled and let out a low rumbling chuckle.

“Dez gonna regretz comin’ ’ere” grumbled Murk. He flexed his power klaw, imagining he was squishing a humie. The burna boyz around Coggutz lit up their burnas in prep for turning the tinny’s to salvage. The red-caps in their trukks revved forward towards the enemy, then the shells started raining down.

A few moments later…

The force field weathered most of the storm of gunfire coming in, but the fire coming from the dredd was punishing. Coggutz flinched as another one of his loyal burna boyz was turned to a bloody paste. He turned a few dials on his force field control to boost it up a bit, he needed some boyz left to help with the building later. Why didn’t they shoot more at the red-caps, he was going to pay all those teef for them to soak up the damage.

Then out of nowhere there was a whoosh and thud as flying humies crashed into their midst. A bellowing warcry in the humie language was yelled at them. They seemed to be carrying funny glowing shields, but there was only 5 of them. Coggutz chuckled, this would be easy. One got a roasting as they landed, a burna on full to the face. The melee was then in full swing. The humies turned out to be tough nuts to crack, the glowing shields seemed invulnerable to his claw, and slowly his boyz were dropping.

Just in the distance there was an explosion as one of the red cap war trukks exploded and orks were flung in all directions. Pitiful few of them got back up again. The remaining ones picked themselves up and ran back to Coggutz to help him out. The other red cap boyz had found a good scrap with some other tin boyz a distance away.


With the help of the red cap boyz the glowing shield humies started to drop, but they took a real pounding. Just one remained who seemed to be a machine, he ducked, parried and fought like a daemon. Then Gurd the red cap nob managed to clock him proper in the head with the butt of his slugga. He then went night night. Time to deal with the others.

Turned out that dread was still going and began to mow down the rest of the red cap boyz with him. Looked like the other boyz had engaged the enemy mek boy. He had some weird power klaw on his back. He needed one of those.

In not too long all the red cap boyz lay dead, it was just Coggutz and Murk. Murk bellowed a huge Waaagh and charged straight at the dread, with one swipe of his klaw he ripped it open and it clattered to the ground. Coggutz felt optimistic about getting more scrap until the balls of plasma vapourized big chunks of Murk, and he fell over slowly. It didn’t look good for Coggutz, he fired off a couple of shots, but then he started to get hit by plasma bolts from the strange looking mek boy. Then alarms from his suit started ringing and his arm had a numb feeling.

Then his emergency teleporta kicked in. He blacked out.

Later he awoke to see a grot staring at him.

“You’se alive boss. We got all da scrap you asked for. Lots of scrap. Had to run off when the metal humies came. Da job got done!” Squeaked the grot.

“Noes red-caps to pay either, all went well…” Croaked Coggutz. He didn’t feel good, but his arm no longer felt numb. He then noticed his was in Stabby Rustnail’s hut…

Upgrades and fresh recruits

Coggutz had to admit his new arm was good, and Murk wasn’t going to need it. There wasn’t much left of him apart from the arm. Seems like he had lost a few teeth though, damn death skull pain boyz.

Scramble his faithful grot oiler (who was permanently coloured blue after some accident with paint and a radiation leak) had managed to gather a lot of teef from the dead red caps. So he could afford to employ some of the “super snooty gang”, a bunch of freebooter orks who had recently landed on Primus Krang. They claimed nothing could put out more shots then them, he only hoped that it meant more shots hit the enemy too.

Seemingly the good fight he had with the tin boyz had attracted a load more red cap boyz to join him, and not want any teef! They just wanted a good punch up.

Coggutz wouldn’t be having to walk anywhere soon either, from the salvage he had gathered there was a beaten up ’umie trukk he had nurse back to life. He would be riding to victory soon.

Guard duty and mustard fog

Trooper Lars took a final sip of recaff and resealed his mask. The mustard coloured fog began to roll in again. The governor had used everything at his disposal to remove the orks, it had cost the lives all of those taken captive by the orks, yet they still clung on. Damn orks, thought Lars, they were pretty much wiped out now with the arrival of the Eldar and the Iron hands. He shuddered when he thought of the Iron hands little more than machines, he had only seen one once, and that was enough for a lifetime.

He warmed up his hands over the fire in the oil barrel, his fellow squad members were similarly huddled around the fire. They had drawn the short straw of garrison duty in one of the outposts in the ruins of the former capital. Those damn Iron hands had burnt the place to the ground to wipe out the orks.

He took out his brush and cleaned out the dust from his firing mechanism. There was always dust, it fell like snow across the city, and then when it rained it turned the ground to grey mud. It was a nightmare for the tanks and for the guns. They constantly had breakdowns and jams. More thanks to the saviours and the governor.

The capital, it was cold, it was grey and it was damn infested with orks. It was good to be in the PDF… Emperor bless this frakking wasteland.


At what cost?

Invictus stood looking at the smoking wreck of the once proud city of Alpha-12. He had made a hard decision in levelling it, but the Orks had to be destroyed. He had engaged them with his small force, thinking they were only a small band of disorganised green skins, but he was wrong. It turns out their leader was well organised, intelligent and brutal. He destroyed Invictus’ force to almost the last man and only a few veterans managed to crawl away from the battlefield. His friend and loyal companion, Sergeant Hebron, was one of his troops that did not make it. Invictus watched him get torn asunder by the brutal fist of the enemy commander, but not before he took some green skins with him.

“The Orks will pay”, swore Invictus as he turned around and walked back to the command post. Captain Gabriel will need to bring reinforcements if this sector is to be held.


+ Report 319 +
Imperial Global News Report:
“Greeting viewers. More grave news today as more fatalities occur due to illegally fitted solar panels and wind turbines. Four children suffered severe first degree burns from being close to a faulty solar panel that had not received proper blessings. In similar news a 70 year old roofer was decapitated by a wind turbine. The turbine in question spun up to such high speeds that one of the blades came off and took the man’s head off.
This is a warning to all citizens, do not trust these “clean” energy advocates who are selling energy production not approved by the imperium. Non-imperium sanctioned produced goods are generally faulty and dangerous. Use imperium power, and trust in nuclear.
Keep safe citizens and remember, report any suspicious activity and all wind turbines and solar panels. Your keeping you and your neighbours safe."

Radio broadcast from unknown source
“Fellow concerned citizens, do not listen to the lies of the media. The media are in the pocket of the oppressive mechanicus. They seek to horde all technology and leave us wallowing in antiquity.
Clean energy is safe energy. No deaths have occurred, only deaths at the hand of the mechnanicum. They hide the truth of there power plants. Their precious nuclear power produces toxic waste. This waste mutates the mind and he body. They bury the toxic waste in the slums and the sea.
Why do we now see fish stocks dwindling? The mechanicus is to blame. Why are our young born sick and frail? The mechanicus is to blame. Why have we no freedom of choice for power and technology? The mechanicus is to blame.
People, choose clean, oppose those who would poison our children, and oppose those who would pollute our seas.
For the imperium and the emporer!”

Increases in leafleting with anti-mechanicus propaganda have occurred. No ill will to imperium currently exists. High probability this may change.

Solution, locate pirate radio station and printing facilities. Destroy and eliminate all involved. All heresy must be suppressed. Increase counter propaganda, and create positive image of mechanicus.

+ Report ends +

Da paint job
Mork walks again

Coggutz hammer in the last “brain interface” spike into Wrenchy’s thick skull.

“Dat be you all inta-faced, now super Cog will walk an’ teach does humies o’s boss”

He climbed down a rickety ladder to admired his new Morkanaut, made to look like a giant version of Himself.

“Now rememberz, no pushing da red button!!!”

The Super Cog was missing something though, it was all gun metal and rust. It needed some red, lots of red. He knew just where to go, to the holy paint source. The giant structure called ‘ulux pain’. There he knew there was enough Imperial standard red, his favourite colour.

It should be an easy walk. No humies had been spotted around here for ages. He had some more red skull boyz and super snooty boys just in case though. Those humies always turned up where he least suspected.

Rust and bolts it is
Gork was jealous

Coggutz was right to have taken some boys. He could see from blue pointy heads off in the distance from his trukk. Lucky he didn’t have a battle wagon, those pointy eared gitz love blowing them up.



With a rev of engines the Nobz of the red caps screamed victory calls at the top of there voices and drove right at the Eldar. A few moments later after several explosions a couple of wheels rolled back this way. Stupid Nobz, at least a few less teff to pay out. One of his shiny new trukks in front just reached the interchange, then a sound of much dakka it blew up.

Not from pointy eared gitz, but ’umies in armour. Things did not bode well for his trip. No worries time to annihilate those tin kans of the humies with Super Cog. Multiple blasta bolts, rokkits and shoota shells fell down upon them. Excellent thought coggutz, nothing can withstand Super Cog. The smoked cleared and there was not a scratch on the humies kans!!!

He then heard the glorious thunder of the Red Ace flying in. He had a taste for eldar. There was much Dakka and flying bodies of pointy ear gitz in the distance. Coggutz chuckled to himself. Then from a distance rokkits flew straight into the red ace ripping his plane to pieces. He thinks he saw the red ace being fired up into the air on his ‘patent pending’ fight another day chair.

Luckily the pointy gitz and the tin boyz didn’t seem to like each other and were shooting each over up. But there was no route through to ’ulux. He sent some boyz off to scout another way, along with da swoopy gang.

Unfortunately “da flanking man-ov-ar” didn’t go to plan. The tin boys had burna boys of their own. Da swoop gang were fried to a crisp. The boys with them faired better though, they taught those tin boys a lesson.

The pointy gitz seemed to be putting more fire power into the tin boyz and their invincible deff-dreads. They seemed invulnerable. There was also a tiny boy, much bigger than the rest that seem to shrug off or dodge the huge weight of firepower coming his way. Seemed like Gork made flesh. Though he had none of the cunning of Gork.


He sent off some of his boyz to go and fetch him some parts from one of th deft-dreads. He needed one of these!!! Then all the red cap boyz would follow him for no teef. Just for the glory of the fight. The pointy gitz seemed to ignore them, so they succeeded in getting into a good scrap with a deff dread and some tin boyz.

The flash gitz he had hired, were getting shot to pieces by the pointy gitz. He knew he should have offered to pay them after the fight. He’ll have to find some grots to go and get the teef back later.

The pointy gitz and tin boyz started a scrap, with the two bosses. The giant tin boy with one sweep of his urty hammer caused the pointy git boss to fly several metres. He didn’t look like he was going to get up from that. He was then proceeding to squish the rest of the pointy gitz. The rest of the red cap boyz gleefully charged into the melee, and the Nobz were disgorged from the Super Cogz belly. Time for a proper fight now.


Over at the over side of the field the boyz hunting the deff dread had killed off the tin boyz and were slowly being squished in the klaw of the dread. Thankfully through the heroic Nob, landed the final blow, ripping the head off the dread. Though he in turn was gunned down by another dread that had just finished squishing pointy gitz with meltas. Things didn’t look good.

The Nobz were then mowed down by gunfire from another dread with super shooty kannons. The Nobz rokkits did nothing. Things were looking grim. To cheer himself up Coggutz, burnt some flying pointy gitz for fun. It wasn’t a challenge, so he sent Super Cogz in. Wrenchy gleefully charged forward… but then he hammered the red button, with a massive surge of power Super Cog exploded.

Coggutz regretted putting in the self destruct button. Red buttons were too tempting for orks. If Mork had taught him anything was that tactical fall back was always valid, or was that a cowardly red axe boy? Who knows, but all these wasn’t worth some paint to paint something that had blown up. Coggutz and the burna boyz piled onto the last trukk and they raced away from the carnage behind.

“I’ll gitz me paint anudder day. An’ when i’z all red an’ shiny I’z coming fer ya tin boyz.”


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